Excess time and lack of things to do forced my hand today and made me clean my desk. We're talking about a space that I haven't ventured into since high school. I found caricatures of faces I no longer recall and 10th grade math homework that I do! Good news Mrs. Joeseph, I remember how to solve matrices still, though I haven't ever felt the need to apply them in my everyday life like you promised!
This could have been a post about the joys of cleaning out your life. Getting rid of your past possessions is supposed to be quite the load lightening experience.
It could be very well have been so but luckily for everyone, I didn't get very far. I got side tracked when I found a poem I'd written when I was about 16 or 17 years old.
Now normally everyone calls me a cynic and I don't argue. In fact, I'd almost forgotten that this poem even existed and for the life of me can't recall the circumstances under which I wrote it.
What I love about it though, is the melodramatic idealism that drips of of it. It reminded me how much passion and energy we have when we're younger and how honest we are about it.
It's not the same later on. The older you get, the better you are at the art of compromise. Not that it's anyone's fault. Life tends to wear you down. Still, I loved finding this poem and it's reminder that I was once such a teenage drama queen :)
Here it is:
need a little bit more
than comfort and convenience;
want a little bit more
than constance and contentment.
There are those
whose hearts beat restlessly;
whose blood rushes thin through their veins;
Some people need,
that extra push; that final fall;
the rush that accompanies certainity of pain.
Some may desire,
love that runs deeper than passion;
Some are compelled,
to explore the bottoms of their soul.
There are those who need
a better reason to be,
a bit more than the usual
to wake up for.